“Scary Movie 5” is horrifyingly horrible

Lindsay Lohan stars in “Scary Movie 5,” released April 12. Dimension Films

Lindsay Lohan stars in “Scary Movie 5,” released April 12. Dimension Films

   The fifth installment of the “Scary Movie” series, released April 12, was the worst spoof movie I’ve ever seen, and I’ve seen two “Twilight” parodies. 

The movie bills itself as comedy/horror, and attempts to make fun of everything from Darren Aronofsky’s “Black Swan,” to Tyler Perry’s Madea movies and even “Inception” and the recently released “Evil Dead.”

You never go to see a movie like this and expect it to be good, but you do expect to chuckle a few times. I rolled my eyes several times, but never even cracked a smile.

The sad excuse for a film was directed by Malcolm D. Lee and co-written and produced by David Zucker (“Airplane,” “The Naked Gun”). Zucker has definitely lost his comic chops.

The movie opens with a scene involving Charlie Sheen and Lindsay Lohan, playing themselves and riffing on the “Paranormal Activity” series, as seen in the movie trailer. So, if you’ve seen the previews for the film, you’ve already seen the best part of it.

The story then skips to a suburban wife (Ashley Tisdale) and her husband (Simon Rex) moving into a haunted house with their possessed adopted children.

What follows is less of a plot and more of a series of terrible “Saturday Night Live” sketches in which the characters borrow familiar story lines from other movies, including “Mama,” “Black Swan” and “Rise of the Planet of the Apes.”

Most of the jokes are recycled and uninspired, and not even cameos from Heather Locklear, Molly Shannon, Mike Tyson and Snoop Dogg can save this horror spoof.

“Scary Movie 5” features only bad acting, missed opportunities and unintelligent comedy. It was supposed to be funny, but fell flat at every turn.

I wish filmmakers would stop making sequels and parodies and instead try to develop some original ideas. Some modernized satires, like “Shaun of the Dead,” have been successful, but this movie was not.

Don’t waste your money or your time on “Scary Movie 5.”

( 1/2 out of 5 Panther Paws)

 

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