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‘The Babysitter’ not for babies

“The Babysitter” was released Oct. 13 on Netflix.

Friday the 13th drove many to “Happy Death Day,” as its No. 1 position in the box office proves.

But horror’s most iconic date welcomed another scary flick — one much more underrated, bloodier and sexier.

Netflix’s “The Babysitter” combines “Home Alone” with the outlandishness of the “Scary Movie” franchise. Director McG said he wanted “The Babysitter” to be like a “‘Home Alone’ remix” — but when 12-year-old Cole (Judah Lewis) witnesses his babysitter Bee (Samara Weaving) using his empty house to perform a satanic human sacrifice, this movie differentiated itself from its 1990 inspiration.

Despite the premise of killing innocent people to reap their blood, this is a coming-of-age film, and the movie never steers from this. Cole is the kid who wears glasses, is the target of bullies who pursue him on bikes, and he knows a little too much about the aerodynamics of remote-controlled cars.

He’s also in love with his hot blonde bombshell. Bee calls his bully a “pap smear,” makes out with an equally hot cheerleader (Bella Thorne) and makes dorky references to “Star Trek” and “The Godfather.” To Cole, Bee is the perfect woman.

Or, so he thought, until he sees her stab a teenage boy in the head with two knives and then collect the blood gushing from his brain in a goblet.

This is where the direction of the film gets tricky. It’s not supposed to feel like “The Exorcist,” but comedy can easily make you feel like the danger isn’t real. Sometimes, the excessive projectile of blood that spewed from victims was just too unrealistic. People aren’t built like fire hydrants. The over-the-top dialogue, while self-aware, got repetitive—except for certain moments, like when the cheerleader screamed that no one will want to lick her nipple anymore because she got shot in the boob.

It’s as though McG knew the premise of his film was so ridiculous that he didn’t worry about making it an excellent horror or comedy. The heart of the story was Cole and Bee’s relationship. Bee betrayed Cole, and not because she’s after his blood but for a pretty pure reason: He’s a lame kid, and Bee was one of the few people who liked him. It’s this heartbreak that makes Cole finally put on his big boy pants on. He delivers a chilling line near the end:

“I loved you. I don’t care about your dumb book, or your stupid cult. I’m an adult because when I realized you were the Big Bad and you betrayed me and were just going to hurt other kids, I drove a stolen car through you.”

The look on Bee’s face after hearing this is enough of a reason to add this movie to your Halloween Netflix queue.

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