Features Reviews

Starbucks’ Unicorn Frappuccino: How can something so pretty taste so bad?

Starbucks’ Unicorn Frappuccino was available April 19 – 23. Photo by Jackie Cohen

As I stood in line at Starbucks waiting to order a Unicorn Frappuccino, I kept telling myself, “You are not basic, you are doing it for The Panther.” This didn’t help, though. I felt ridiculous and I could tell the barista was judging me for ordering it.

Starbucks baristas have been posting on social media about what a pain it is to make the Unicorn Frappuccino, a limited-edition drink available April 19 – 23, so I felt really bad for the barista who was making mine. I felt even worse after I tried it.

He called my name and I saw the beautiful and extremely artificial pink, blue and purple drink. The majority of the drink was pink, with a blue dripping effect at the top that turned parts of the frappuccino purple. It was topped with whipped cream and pink powder.

After taking the typical photo shoot, I took a sip. You should’ve seen my face as the first drops of Unicorn Frappuccino touched my tongue; it was the face of a disappointed Starbucks lover. I felt deceived because the pretty rainbow was masking a disgusting flavor.

I went back in for a few more sips, trying to figure out what flavor the pink part was supposed to be. It was mango, my favorite fruit, but this drink was an abomination to all mangoes. I had two issues with the mango flavor. First off, it was an extremely sweet and fake mango flavor that you could tell didn’t have a trace of the actual fruit. I know, what can I expect from a drink that looks like a rainbow exploded on it? But still. Also, if you are making a colorful, unicorn drink, why not stick to regular flavors like vanilla, cotton candy or bubble gum? Why did Starbucks have to bring my favorite fruit into this mess?

The ads for the Unicorn Frappuccino said that it changes flavors, so I started trying the parts with different colors to see if maybe that was better than the pink part. The blue part was not terrible. It was a bit sour and helped balance out the sweetness of the mango, but it was very little and at the top of the drink. If this had been mixed in with the pink, it might’ve tasted better. However, the little bit of blue I drank managed to turn my tongue purple. Lovely, right?

I don’t know if I was curious or just trying to get rid of the gross mango flavor, but I decided to use my straw to take a little bit of whipped cream. That was a bad decision– almost as bad as spending $4.95 on this drink. The pretty pink powder on top was the most bitter thing I have ever tried. It was so sour that just thinking about it makes me cringe.

The worst part was that it was hard to get away from the awful flavors from the Unicorn Frappuccino. I gave up on drinking this mess after five sips, however, the sugary coating and mango aftertaste clung to my mouth. The only way to get rid of it was by brushing my teeth, so the walk back from Starbucks was rough.

I do not recommend that you buy this drink. Every time someone takes a sip out of this drink, you hear another basic person’s heart breaking. I’m so glad that this is just a limited time product because it gives Starbucks a bad name.

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