Opinion | I don’t like Thanksgiving

Zach Davis
Opinions Editor
@zachmdavis

This week, many of us are headed home to laze around for a blissful week of Netflix (or Disney+ now, I guess) and ignoring the final papers we promised ourselves we were going to write while at home.

Thanksgiving break is the perfect excuse to escape from the hectic chaos that defines the weeks leading up to finals and just take a breather. And I love taking a break and going home – I wrote an entire column on how much I love going home – but I also dread going home for Thanksgiving. 

Why? I don’t like Thanksgiving.

Before I get turkeys thrown at me and mobs of angry townsfolk with their pitchforks and unconditional love for mediocre food attacking me, let me explain: Thanksgiving is all about food and family. Literally nothing else. And guess what? I’m vegetarian and I don’t necessarily love hanging with my extended family.

So for me, there’s nothing that great about Thanksgiving. 

The only slightly redeemable quality of Thanksgiving is the food. As a vegetarian, that means the main serving – meticulously prepared turkey – is unobtainable. I’m left with mashed potatoes, stuffing and green beans. Mashed potatoes are absolutely phenomenal, and should be the main serving and are my saving grace at Thanksgiving. But they aren’t that filling. Stuffing tastes like moldy bread that a duck spit up and the green beans are usually soggy by the time we get to eat them. Not that appetizing for me.

To my family reading this, please stop here. This is going to be extremely awkward if any of you read this, but I need to get this off my chest. I don’t necessarily enjoy hanging around my extended family, because this is the only time I see them all year and they don’t really know me that well. 

I’m not ready for my aunt to ask my what I’m majoring in for the fourth Thanksgiving in a row. I’m not excited to listen my uncle tell a racist joke or have my cousins scream and run throughout the house. 

And if I mention being vegetarian at all, I’m hit with, “Just eat meat this one day of the year!” Ignoring the fact that I don’t even enjoy turkey to begin with, it’s annoying to laugh and pretend I haven’t heard people say that every. Single. Year. 

Not to mention that the Thanksgiving I learned about in elementary school isn’t quite representative of the actual Thanksgiving. We sang songs about Christopher Columbus and all the amazing things he did for Native Americans! What is up with the Utah education system? 

With all this, it’s not that surprising that I don’t like Thanksgiving. I love getting to go home and I love getting a week off of school, but I don’t think there’s anything particularly great about the holiday.

But there is one thing to celebrate: Good ole Black Friday.

Although many people complain about Black Friday moving up earlier and earlier into the holiday, I don’t mind it. This isn’t fair that store employees have to miss out on Thanksgiving  – I’m well aware that other people don’t share the same hatred towards Thanksgiving as me – I don’t mind the sales starting sooner. It gives me a perfect excuse to dip out of dinner early, sneaking out before the pumpkin pie is served. That’s another thing I won’t even get into: pumpkin pie is fine, but I don’t understand the hype. Like it’s OK at best. I’d rather have a nice slice of Costco chocolate cake.

Anyway, I wouldn’t say I hate Thanksgiving. I just don’t particularly enjoy it. Give me mashed potatoes, give me Black Friday and give me time away from campus: that’s all I really need.