Satire | Chapman to add roundabout with fountain of Doti on panther to Lastinger structure

roundabout

The roundabout serves as the university’s response to constant complaints from students regarding the parking situation on campus. Photo illustration by Kali Hoffman

Chapman will add a roundabout in the Lastinger Parking Structure to reduce traffic within the lot, removing about 100 parking spots, according to preliminary plans. At the center of the roundabout will be a fountain of President Emeritus Jim Doti riding a panther.

The roundabout serves as the university’s response to constant complaints from students regarding the parking situation on campus.

“The statue at the middle of the roundabout was paid for by major donors who want to thank Doti for his contributions to the university and instill more panther spirit,” according to the university’s press release.

The press release also said that Chapman has seen how much students like the roundabout in the Old Towne Plaza, so the university decided to create its own.

The Lastinger Parking Structure usually fills up before 10 a.m., however, the structure will probably fill up earlier when the 100 spots are removed.

“I’ll probably start camping out on campus around 7 a.m. to find a parking spot, but it is worth it to see the fountain of Doti majestically riding a panther,” said a commuter student.

Content on this page is satire for “I can’t believe it’s not news,” The Panther’s April Fools special issue.