Satire | Tim the Turkey hologram to perform at spring concert

tim

Honoring Tim’s legacy in a tasteful and memorable way was integral in the decision to feature his hologram at the concert. Photo illustration by Kali Hoffman

After receiving student feedback and conducting an “exhaustive” search of potential performers, the University Program Board (UPB) announced today that a hologram of Tim the Turkey will perform at Chapman’s spring concert.

The opener will be British pop-rock bank Chumbawamba, which announced it will perform its signature song “Tubthumping” in honor of Tim’s fighting spirit and his ability to “get back up again.”

“Honoring Tim’s legacy in this way will be tasteful and provide students with an incredible spring concert,” said a UPB representative.

Tim’s estate and image rights were passed on to his brother, Tom, as Tim’s wife Tina died before he did and Tim never remarried. Tom declined to comment directly, but released the following statement regarding the performance:

“This concert was Tim’s dream, and I want people to remember Tim for his vocal talents and not just for the way he died. I hope this performance can capture even just a bit of who Tim was as a turkey and a husband. I’m not sure I’ll be able to keep it together when he performs ‘Flightless Fowls,’ or ‘Winged Woman’ – that was about Tina – but I think it’s something that can bring people together and I know that’s what Tim would want.”

Content on this page is satire for “I can’t believe it’s not news,” The Panther’s April Fools special issue.